No one in the 'Verse
by Ellisguy
Summary: A MalInara songfic. Inara has a few words for Mal, but he really doesn't want to sit around and listen. Hilarity ensues.


**Disclaimers:** The characters are owned by Joss Whedon. The lyrics mostly belong to Wynnona Judd's _No One Else on Earth_.

**Author's Notes:** I heard this song playing at work and thought immediately of Inara. It felt like something that she would sing to Mal. Took me a while to develop a storyline around the song. I think it would be best to listen to the song while you read this. I guess that makes it a song-fic.

**No One in the 'Verse**

Mal was sitting in a bar. It was a fairly nice bar, by Rim standards. It was large, pretty well lit, and it had a performing stage with curtains and everything. Actually, it may have been a saloon, similar to something Mal had seen in vids depicting the ancient West on Earth-that-was. He was sitting alone at a small table next to a set of steps that led up to the stage. There was a drink sitting on the table next to a small lantern that Mal couldn't recall ordering. Mal also couldn't recall why he was there. In fact, he couldn't recall even walking in and sitting down. What planet was he on? Where were Zoe and Jayne? Who were these people around him? Nothing was familiar, but yet he had a strange feeling like he'd been there before.

When Mal turned to someone at the next table to say something, they shushed him, letting him know that the show was about to start.

Mal then noticed the House lights dimming as a spotlight was shone on the middle of the stage curtain. The curtains opened to reveal a woman with long, curly black hair standing in the middle of the spotlight with her back to the audience. She nodded and another spotlight came up revealing a man playing an electric guitar. It was Jayne!

After Jayne had played a few solo licks on the guitar, the stage lights came up to reveal the rest of the band as the main melody began. It was the rest of his crew. Book was sitting, behind the drumset with his hair untied, but otherwise recognizable in his shepherd's uniform. Simon was playing a tenor saxophone and sporting some uncharacteristically dark sunglasses. Wash was in his normal flightsuit and loud floral shirt, sitting at his normal pilot's chair in front of a keyboard. River was wearing the blue dress she wore in the Maidenhead on Beaumonde and she was beside Jayne holding a bass guitar. Zoe and Kaylee were in matching slinky long black dresses and standing behind a pair of old-style microphones. Obviously, the back-up singers, but who were they backing up?

Mal's focus turned to the woman in the center of the stage. She had her back to the audience, but he had a hunch about who it was. When she turned around, Mal knew he was right. It was Inara, and she lifted a cordless microphone to her lips as she began to sing.

_I've been a rock,_

_And I got my fences,_

_I never let them down,_

Inara descended the steps from the stage as she sung.

_When it comes to love,_

_I keep my senses,_

_I don't get kicked around,_

Suddenly, Inara turned to Mal and her eyes bore into him. Walking to him, she continued.

_I shivered once,_

_You broke into my soul,_

_The damage is done now, _

_I'm out of control,_

_How did you get to me?_

Inara was now inches from Mal, and he chose this time to jump from his chair and run out of the saloon. Behind him the crew followed at a slow walk and Kaylee and Zoe joined Inara in the chorus.

_No one in the 'Verse,_

_Could ever hurt me,_

_Break my heart the way you do,_

_No one in the 'Verse,_

_Was ever worth it,_

_No one could love me like,_

_No one could love me like you._

Unfortunately, Mal was looking more at his crew than the way he was going. When he turned around, he ran headlong into a post. The next thing he knew he was in an Alliance interrogation room with some bright lights pointed at him. He could make out an officer entering past two guards. The singing began again.

_You can make me want you,_

_Anytime you want to, _

_You're burnin' me alive,_

The form of the officer approached.

_I can't deny you,_

_Even when I catch you,_

_Leaving a weak alibi,_

Suddenly the spotlights dimmed and Mal saw the officer move to sit on the table before him.

'_Cause when the night falls, _

_You make me forget,_

It was Inara in an Alliance tunic, short grey skirt, and black high heels. She crossed her legs seductively and let down her hair as she sat.

_Your love is killing me,_

_And it ain't over yet,_

_How did you get to me?_

Mal leaped out his chair and ran out the open door to the brig.

_No one in the 'Verse,_

_Could ever hurt me,_

_Break my heart the way you do,_

Mal looked back and saw Kaylee and Zoe in Alliance guard uniforms, and Inara walking slowly behind him. The rest of the crew was playing their instruments in the cells that he passed.

_No one in the 'Verse,_

_Was ever worth it,_

_No one could love me like,_

_No one could love me like you._

Mal found Serenity docked at the airlock at the end of the brig, and quickly undocked her as he flew the ship away from the cruiser. A musical interlude filled the bridge as Mal flew Serenity to the nearest habitable planet. On the different comm screens he saw his crew playing their instruments. Jayne led off the interlude with some long slow notes, but River joined him with some quick flares off of her guitar. Mal noted how cozy they seemed rubbing their backs together on the same screen. Simon had Kaylee hanging off of him as he wailed away on his sax. Zoe similarly hung off of Wash as he played his keyboard. Book happily kept the rhythm going. Suddenly all the screens turned to Inara, as Mal noted a gunship gaining on him. He turned Serenity into atmo.

_I shivered once,_

_You broke into my soul,_

_The damage is done now, _

_I'm out of control,_

_How did you get to me?_

Mal was now planet-side, sneaking around a farm with Serenity in the distance. He was making his way to a couple of horses that were tied up outside a ranch house. He was looking to steal one of them to make a fast getaway.

_No one in the 'Verse,_

_Could ever hurt me,_

_Break my heart the way you do,_

He saw his crew in casual clothes on the front porch of the ranch house lazily playing their instruments. He stayed quiet, hoping they wouldn't notice him.

_No one in the 'Verse,_

_Was ever worth it,_

_No one could love me like,_

_No one could love me like._

Mal noticed an Alliance gunship set down nearby and Inara step off. Mal mounted a horse and spurred it into a fast gallop.

_No one in the 'Verse,_

_Could ever hurt me,_

_Break my heart the way you do,_

_No one in the 'Verse,_

_Was ever worth it,_

_No one could love me like,_

_No one could love me like you._

Unfortunately, Mal was not watching where he was going again, and he did not see that he was riding directly to a fence. The horse he was riding stopped short of the fence, and sent Mal flying over it. Landing on his back, Mal was stunned for a moment, but he quickly noticed someone walking to him. When he looked up, the sun drowned out most of her features, but he could tell it was a woman by her form and long hair. She helped him up. Mal dusted himself off as he noticed her curly black hair, cowboy boots, faded jeans, flannel shirt, and brown Stetson. He couldn't initially see her face because of the hat's brim, but she soon lifted it to reveal her olive skin, large almond-shaped brown eyes, and full ruby-red lips. Inara gave him a look of recognition. Suddenly, it was like he was watching himself and Inara from afar.

_No one in the 'Verse,_

_Could ever hurt me,_

_Break my heart the way you do,_

They leaned in close to each other as the sun was setting behind them. Mal's lips approaching Inara's waiting ones.

_No one in the 'Verse,_

_Was ever worth it,_

_No one could love me like,_

_No one could love me like,_

They kissed and every started to get dim.

_No one like you!_

Everything had almost faded completely to black and the singing had almost disappeared.

_No one like you!_

Mal suddenly snorted awake. He was in his bunk and panting heavily. Turning his feet over the edge of his bed, Mal held his head in his hands, trying to forget about the dream he had just experienced, yet again.

"Sir, Kaylee and Inara are back," Zoe's voice crackled over the comm.

"Understood," Mal replied as he rose to his feet and headed to the ladder heading up. He made his way to the cargo bay and arrived just in time to see Simon open the doors. Kaylee came running through immediately and wrapped her arms around her bao bei. Jayne was on a crate strumming away at his guitar as River watched intently next to him.

"So I supposed you enjoyed your trip to the Triplex?" Simon asked. Inara came walking up carrying some packages as well as a couple of other men pushing carts full of provisions.

"It was wonderful!" Kaylee said excitedly. "I didn' know they had so much stuff in 'em."

"Let's hope they still do," Mal mused loudly as he descended the ladder into the cargo bay.

"Not to fret, Cap'n," Kaylee said as she broke from Simon. "Did like ya said. Didn' spend more'n we had do and got all ya asked for."

"Mind explainin' that large box Inara's carryin' then?" Mal asked suspiciously.

"Oh, that's a gift I got her," Kaylee answered. "Bought it with my own money."

"So what is't?" Jayne asked curiously from the crate.

"It's a hat," Kaylee answered happily. "Saw it in a store an' thought it'd look great on her. C'mon, Inara! Show 'em!"

"Mei mei," Inara said bashfully which was a surprise to Mal. "I really don't think it's a good idea."

"C'mon, Inara," Kaylee said encouragingly. "I got it so's you could wear it."

This got Mal intrigued. A hat that Inara was reluctant to wear, it must me something to see. Mal joined Kaylee, "Must say, I'm interested in seeing you wear it."

"Very well," Inara said reluctantly as she pulled out a brown Stetson and set it on her head. Mal froze and Inara asked, "What is it?"

With wide eyes, Mal asked, "Are ya gonna sing, too?"

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Reviews greatly appreciated.


End file.
